Back Again….

It’s sad to say that I call myself a writer and I haven’t written in over a year. I always say that my best writings are when I’m sad and I can’t seem to write anything good when I’m happy, which is exactly what I have been happy.

I met a prince, fell in love and lived happily ever after! Im totally just kidding ha! But! I DID meet MY prince and I am in love and I am living happily.

I no longer go on wondering every single day when will be the day that someone will look at me and finally SEE me; when will they finally love me.

I have it all.

But still;

I wake up every single morning wondering what is wrong with me? I wonder why my mind can’t stop working for one second and just not think of anything.

I wake up every single morning terrified that maybe he will change his mind and leave.

I wake up every single morning wondering if I am good enough because I don’t feel like I am.

All everyone tells me is “You’re young and beautiful, you have it all; BE HAPPY

But I am aren’t I?

I am happy but I’m also terrified of the unknown. I am terrified of not knowing what will happen in the future.

I have no control and it kills me.

I wake up every single morning with my heart pounding out of my chest, unable to breathe; anticipating that something bad is going to happen.

That’s all I do. I sit and wait; sit and anticipate the unknown.

Just waiting….

Waiting for IT to happen; But what exactly is IT?

Well I guess you can never really run from it, because here it is.

It’s back again.